This Mandala is a spectrum. It’s a useful device to help you feel into what to cultivate and develop and to help you see where you are to some degree, but we are always experiencing more than one node at a time. Working with the Mandala is not a linear process.
Also, the Mandala is not a self-improvement program. It’s not a workout, as in “I have to do this node, and then I have to do that node.”
It’s not that; it’s more about following your own internal pull. It’s about exploring where you feel drawn to, where you feel naturally led to do what you do.
You continue to develop and see where it leads. It certainly isn’t a purity test, like “I must be experiencing pure Red all the time.”
The teachings that relate to the Red node such as Advaita Vedanta, Zen, Dzogchen or higher Mahamudra teachings, do not say that there isn’t bliss; in fact, they speak about bliss quite a bit. So it’s not that the Red node cannot have any sense of presence or any subtle objects of awareness.
However, the main thing is to distinguish the Pure Awareness itself that is present in any moment, and doing this especially when you’re aiming at clarifying recognition of that Unconditioned Awareness. It’s about noticing what is aware of experience, not about whether there is Radiance or not.
Consciousness always has some object, that’s the tricky thing about it, and why it’s so easy to become confused about the distinction. Of course, it’s especially pleasant when the object is a Purple node object, when there’s a sense of radiance and bliss that goes along with the Pure Awareness.
What really matters is being able to distinguish Pure Awareness from any object it may be aware of. If you can distinguish that which is aware of this radiance when you’re feeling it, then when you’re not feeling particularly radiant, you’ll still be able to recognize what is aware of the state that is there. Consciousness Itself is consistent in every one of the nodes and every state; it’s always just registering what is.
Seeing beyond States
The Red node is the place on the Mandala where teachings on Intrinsic Awareness reside. This node is where we focus specifically and exclusively on Intrinsic Awareness. Self-inquiry is central to this. This is where you examine questions such as: Where am I? Where is this “I”? Where is this awareness of everything? Where is it located? We are looking for the Subject, trying to find it. We are attempting to establish the location of that which is aware of everything.
At first, on discovering that we can’t find ourselves, we may feel somewhat panicked, like “I am not getting it. I do not understand this.” It’s a very typical situation with doing Self-inquiry that “I just can’t get it.” At such times, simply relax and notice those thoughts and wonder, “What’s aware of those thoughts?” Keep on looking and noticing what is aware of even that.
With persistent inquiry, there can be recognition that indeed the Awareness of all experience is beyond anything sensed, and yet is unmistakably You as the Subject. In this pursuit, we feel a kind of bliss or spaciousness, an expansive state that is a result of the act of looking, but it’s a side effect, kind of a fringe benefit. The purpose of inquiry is not to have any particular state but instead to look to see if you can find the Awareness of whatever state there is.
When you see that your conscious nature has silently been registering all this, there is often a state that accompanies seeing it. I like to think that Intrinsic Awareness is like a woman, a friend who enjoys having company.
Whenever anyone comes to see her, she dresses up in her best clothes.
She wears peace, bliss, joy, and relaxation. Although it’s great that she throws a party when you look for her, the downside is that you might not recognize her if you see her in the supermarket wearing her sweat pants.
If we identify Consciousness with a particular feeling state, we can be confused when the feeling changes. It’s like “Wow, that was great! I got the insight that I’m Spacious Awareness. It was so blissful, peaceful, expansive, but I don’t feel that now, so I must have lost Awareness.” However, that feeling of expansion, bliss, and openness, in itself, is not Consciousness. Consciousness is what’s aware of all that. If we think that feeling state is Consciousness and if we believe that is what Consciousness looks like, then, when we’re feeling angry, afraid, or our mind is racing, we’ll say, “Well, I’ve lost it. Consciousness isn’t here,” but this belief reveals a misunderstanding.
What is aware of a mind that is racing? What’s aware of anger? Consciousness Itself is. Whatever she’s wearing, whether it’s bliss or pain, she is always directly aware of whatever is happening. Consciousness is already there. Pain just indicates that attention has become fixated on some object. When attention is free of objects, there is a blissful feeling. Attention is a subtle form of mind. It is not the same thing as Intrinsic Awareness, which is always registering everything, yet by nature is never fixated on anything. When attention goes to look for its source, then these pleasurable side effects happen. As long as attention abides “there,” there is bliss, and yet Consciousness always shines everywhere regardless of what attention does.
(From The Tapestry of Being, Chapter 2 : You Are Freedom Itself)